Look at me, continuing things I started, growing up so fast. Isn't it funny existing in this new ever-evolving influencer culture (cue my old-man yelling at lawn kids voice here) feel weird sometimes?
I mean, I grew up next to the internet with my fellow Gen-Z's. The early days of computers and cellphone are a constant blur for me. They were always there but they changed over and over again. It still is changing all the time, which kinda blows my mind sometimes. When you look around we are all experiencing different growth era's of this new virtual world. Some of it changes so fast that it is forgotten, making people like m sound like I'm shaking my fist about the good old days when we tuned into msn to do the exact same thing all instant messengers do now, but from MY childhood.
Other parts, are timeless. Roblox is the new flash-games site where you can access any wierd, random, fun, silly, brain-numbing games to play and pass the time getting points you won't care about in 20 years. Meanwhile, I'm pretty sure Omegle and being an absolute goofball laughing at the riskiness of other humans is still going strong, making it on it's way to being a coming-of-age custom alongside the ghost stories told on the bus that are still floating around.
Anyways, digital age "whooooaaaa deeeep" moment is passing, what was my point here? Oh. I feel like blogs and putting our voice into the void of the internet has been around since the internet itself. My reference point? Mostly 80's high school movies and a good hunch. It's just recently though, that the trend has started where these thoughts and ideas put out here by average humans regardless of their place in the social or economic hierarchy.
My hunch tells me that at the beginning of the internet era, I could truly write all about the thoughts that run through my head, the world as I see it, my opinions and thoughts would be invisible. I mean, unless I was on T.V. or some 80's style bully was looking for material to print out in terrible quality by the thousands (RIP to their parents printing/office supplies budget) and tape to all the lockers at school as their revenge....nobody would give a second glance to what I had written. Maybe that is still the case, but here I am, getting all philosophical anyways.
It's only fairly recently that stuff like this is actually paid attention to, and seems to hold some sort of power I think. It's this cute little paradox with creatives online. A lot of them actually....to name a couple:
We Are ENOUGH...But Even Better if Someone Else Thinks So Too
A paradox where we are putting everything out there for ourselves to gain some sort of satisfaction, to share something we feel is important with the world, or just giving OUR voices enough credit. Credit that we tell ourselves they are worthy of space alongside the rest of the voices out here on the World Wide Web. Yet, we also write and share everything as if someone is reading it, an audience. Maybe a future lover who finds our words and sees we're the one, or our future selves looking back at our captured moments, someone who might be waiting for things to be said just the way we do to feel less alone, the writers for the 2060 movie about us that we just don't know will exist yet cause this is the part BEFORE we meet our full potential.
One of a Kind, Seeking for Similarity.
On that same note, there's the paradox that we share our perspectives thinking they are unique, one of a kind, different in what we hope is all the best ways. Meanwhile, we write and share because we are desperate to show and see that none of us are truly alone in all that runs wild in our heads.
I Believe in my Thoughts, But Please Don't Judge Me for Them
We share these big creative things in our heads out into the internet void and into the world be
cause we value it, we believe in it, and we want to outlet pieces of ourselves like art (writing is my art too, not just emails okkkk). Yet at the same time, putting it out here makes us scared someone will take what's most precious to us and hurt us with it or sh*t all over it. We are worried of what everyone thinks on something that we are eager to sit down and write because we want to produce our creations with the world.
The only thing left on my mind is that I feel I should have some big take away from this. But I don't. This is just what I have to say.
I started this blog about a year ago, when I started on my own healing journey after turning 25, and wanting to find my voice. I decided to do it like everything else i have seen success in, faking it until I make it, just moving and seeing where it goes.
It has been a ride of a year let me tell you. And I feel, hear, and connect with my voice more than ever. For me, I like to put my perspective out here with the world's because it's an act of love for myself. After a lifetime of being told my voice is wrong, meaningless, a weapon against me, something to fear....putting it out there is my way of telling myself the opposite. My voice is nothing to fear, something to be proud of, and something that could bring purpose someday, cause who knows.
With that in mind, I want to blog-ramble more often. Share my voice as I go on. Last year my journey to find my voice began, and now I want it to continue with throwing it out here more often.
Let's just see what happens, shall we?
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