There are candles out tonight. Each table with its own ambiance whether you're here to catch up with an old friend, get to know someone on a first date, or like me, you're here to down any kind of cappuccino they'll whip up because the coffee maker chose today to breakdown, and unless these client reports get finished my sanity will shortly follow. My candle is flickering on this little cafe table, and it's inviting me on a first date, an overdue catch up, with myself.
You won't know this when you're reading but I promise I'm typing this next part after my reports are sent out. Well, the important ones. There's only like, 3 left to do, I have a plan I swear. But I have T-minus one hour now until the coffee shop closes, and if i leave this candle then the whole vibe leaves. So, you know, priorities.
This week I got invited to do a podcast interview with Nadiah Sakurai of NS Storytelling, a new female start-up looking to explore the topic of Michinori , how individuals ended up doing what they do, the passion and motivation behind each person's story.
Here's the part where I say something in a cleverly written way to mask how freaking nervous I am about it. I love speaking, I love sharing, and I fall more in love with my unique lil' story more every day. Usually these elements come into play in job interviews, sales pitches for my programs, or presentations where even on an "off day" it's nothing a little memorization and false confidence can't solve. This feels different. It feels personal, and that's exciting and terrifying. It feels surreal to me to have spent so many years living my childhood, my adolescence, my past, and now all of a sudden it's a story I'm telling while I live the life of my 10 year old dreams.
I feel like saying "I'm living the life of my dreams" sounds a bit dramatic. For most people, it's statement usually saved for the part of the story when you're waking up in a big house, with a sports car you drive to a high-end "successful" job you love, with half of the year spent somewhere tropical, eating organic of course, and going to galas left and right. If that's the case for most people, then isn't that sad? That we are always waiting for something bigger and better to fall head over heels in love with our life? So yeah, I am living the life of my dreams. When I was 10, I dreamed of a life of peace, love, independence, and getting to do something meaningful with my life, something important. I dreamed to be happy, and to be free, to be loved, and here I am. Sitting in my favorite coffee shop, filled with delicious cappuccino before going home to my own little haven of an apartment, where I'll see my cat and the man who loves me back so purely, the way love should feel. He'll kiss me goodnight when he gets home, and I'll sleep through the night with not a worry in the world. When I wake up I'll go to a job that I created, that makes a difference, that makes me as happy as it does tired. Everywhere I turn in my social circle I find someone who genuinely loves me. And not to mention this candle? Living. The. Dream. Baby.
Alright, that's a lot of lead up to basically say that I want to practice my podcast thoughts here so that I go from nervous to bad ass between now and Friday. A lil' dose of my Michinori.
What do you do right now?
More specifically than "Living the dream, baby"? Well, right now I co-own, operate, and facilitate programs in my two baby companies, Limitless Youth, and N.U.T.S. & BO.L.T.S. As Child and Youth Workers in hospitals, schools, and community centres, we saw so many barriers the system put on helping people. Everything had a checklist, every checklist was attached to money, every strategy, client, and decision had to match the checklist. We just wanted to help the kids and teens in front of us in real time, no checklist required. That didn't seem to exist, so we made it ourselves. To avoid any outside control from funding, investors, or any kind of monetary needs that could take any focus away from the clients, we chose to roll up our sleeves and run a two person-start up operation. That means that me and my business partner do the business/corporation side of things, the therapeutic programming side, and every department in between like human resources, IT, sales, marketing, administration and more.
How do you feel about it?
I feel like it is the most exhausting, stressful, difficult, exciting, fulfilling, wonderful life changing thing I have ever done. These companies are my legacy I can leave in the world. Something that can stand here long after I'm gone, doing something meaningful for future kids and teens similar to the ones I care for so much now. I feel it is a role I get to take on to make a difference with my time and energy, which isn't something I'd trade for the world.
When did it all begin?
Personally? It began with a little girl who had a big heart in a family experiencing big problems. My trauma is generational, it is vicarious, and it is complicated. I grew up in a family that struggled with poverty, addiction, alcoholism, abuse, violence, and mental illness. Everywhere I looked growing up I saw hurt, pain, and anger. So much so that at a very young age I wanted different for myself than what I saw. Growing up with this and having so much love for people who were unable to return it inspired me to do something to bring light to the world and to myself. It was clear early on that this would not come from my family, so all that pent-up light, energy, and passion turned to a career path. In a lot of ways, my career path began in grade one. I knew that nobody got out of my family unscathed, but I was determined to get out, and do it well.
Professionally, it began with my third year student placement. After a high school trip in high school, walking through this huge mental health facility I remember the first thought that entered my head when I walked in. "Big change happens here". Since that moment I set my sights on getting a student placement there, impressing their asses off, and landing my dream job and starting my dream life there.
My real dream life began when I got there. Everything was going to plan, and I walked in as a student on day one saying in my head "big change happens here". Naturally with that mindset I came equipped with drive, ideas, work ethic, and showed up everyday determined to play my role in the big change that undoubtedly must happen there. But I was wrong. "approved change happens here" is what I quickly learned. I had other jobs as a Child and Youth Worker that I didn't feel shared my passion for making a real difference, but here? The facility I had thought was a game changing player in helping kids, teens and humans....well, it disappointed me.
Child and Youth Care is years behind in being respected alongside psychiatry and social work, despite the proven benefits of our scope of practice for children, youth, and families. In terms of social services, we are pretty close to the bottom of the food-chain when it comes to decision-making power for clients. Where was I going to find a job that respected my current scope of practice that I believed in, let alone one that would look at children and youth support the way I do? At that point in my life it sort of felt like the only way to work for a mental health organization that didn't disappoint my high standards of how children and youth were supported was if I did it.
Why is it Important to you?
What my companies stand for, and what they do and bring to the community is so important to me. I look around, and I know that everyone who sets out to help others has good intentions in mind. I know everyone in this alongside me is pouring their heart into the help they provide. But the system and conditions people are in isn't conducive to humans helping other humans. The reality is that money makes everything go around right? Without money to be there, open the doors, do and help the community, how can you? I face the same dilemma as an owner of a social enterprise. Somewhere along the way we started answering to money, not to the humans in front of us. What I do is important to me because I want to breed a new way of helping people that puts people first.
In my life that I live as a human when I'm not running the companies, it's important to me to use my time here on earth to do something positive. I truly believe that every one of us has a role to play in making the world better on a micro level.
I believe that if we all embraced the power and passions we had on a micro level, some day they could all add up to make macro level change. I know there's so much wrong with the world and with society. Those who support veganism, are doing their part, those who are serving soup in kitchens are doing theirs, teens trying to get more recyclable bins in the cafeteria are too. Those who adopt animals, who are training to be doctors, who are buying the person behind them coffees spontaneously. We all have our thing to make our corner of the world a little brighter in our own way. This is mine.
Where do you feel you are in your journey now? (beginning, near your end goal, etc.)
To me, it feels like I'm at the beginning. Like, just chapter two or three. As for my childhood and past, I feel like that's a whole journey where I've done the whole beginning, middle, and end thing. I completed that journey to get here and start this one.
This is my life I dreamed of since I was 10 years old, and I see the potential for it to get even better if that's even possible with how I feel these days. My companies are just toddlers, my evolving along the way as a human being is on the rise in this new stage of my life. The other chapters haven't been written yet, but if I could turn the last story from something hurtful to something beautiful, imagine what will happen with a story that starts here in this happy, healthy, beautiful landscape? I'm excited to find out.
What is something memorable that has happened to you along the way?
Is it a cop out to say all of it? I suppose that's maybe too hippy dippy to keep talking how beautiful all life can be, man.
This one is difficult for me. I'd have to say that along the way, hearing the testimonials we've gotten from clients over the last year has been the most memorable. Limitless Youth and N.U.T.S. & BO.L.T.S. are not just new companies, but new ideas, new ways of working with people, new models for social services and therapeutic programs. When we first started out we told people our ideas and had faith that it would work on a larger scale as it has in our practice as Child and Youth Workers. In the beginning, we sold an idea, a vivid description of a dream.
So every time we get a testimonial from clients sharing the positive benefit they've seen, that our ideas work for them, that there are real life human children and teens who are better off because of what we do it makes everything feel so much realer.
Who is your inspiration?
I'm very inspired by those who throw themselves out into the world to share their passions, lessons, and authentic journeys. Those people who are so passionate about what they do, and love their jobs and themselves so much it radiates in their content. I couldn't choose between Lilly Singh, Jonathan Van Ness, and Elton John, so I'll have to give all three.
Firstly, they are self-made, and I can relate to that. They built their careers and their life through hard work, hard lessons, and hard times. In many ways, they got where they are from doing something they love in a way that only they can do it.
They all have this dare and desire to do things differently that I admire. Each of them innovates in their context and world around them. Elton John added his personal flare, fashion, and moves to all of his performances, turning the piano into a one of a kind rock instrument that when used by him was uniquely "Elton". Jonathan Van Ness continues to challenge gender and sexuality norms by wearing, doing and saying what he damn pleases as a public figure, whether it's in the form of a skirt, an unpopular political stance, or reminding men that they deserve to feel good in their skin too with a snap and toss of his hair. Lilly Singh has such a love for her community, field and culture, while also wants to elevate them all for the next generation. She wants to build people up to be the best "hustlers" and their most vulnerable selves at the same time. To embrace your culture while exploring new ways to find more wellness, inclusively, and innovation in it, like women broadening their thing and drink options at traditional events for example. Lilly is not looking to invent new wheels, but is instead trying to lead by example of being the best versions of ourselves in ways that feel scary and intimidating.
Someday I hope to be on somebody's list like they are on mine, simply for being myself out in this big wide world.
Well, that's all folks. I showed up, I wrote, I am leaving. Thanks for the time reading or simply the void within internet space as a place to land my thoughts.
Good luck on your journeys out there,
Jo
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